| Poems -
Just Listen
(Author Unknown)
Please, Just Listen
When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice,
you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me
why I shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you must
do something to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen!
All I asked was that you listen -- not talk or do -- just hear.
(Advice is cheap: 504 will get you
both "Dear Abby" and Billy Graham
in the same newspaper.)
And I can do for myself; I am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and
need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But, when you accept, as a simple fact, that I do feel
-- no matter how irrationally --
then I can quit trying to convince you and get about
the business of understanding
what's behind this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and
I don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand
what's behind them
So, please, just listen and hear me.
And, if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn, and I'll listen to you! |
(The Special Mother)
by Erma Bombeck
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure and a couple by habit.
This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children.
Did you ever wonder how these mothers are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth
Selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew."
"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia."
"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who knows no laughter?
That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair.
Once the shock and resentment wear off she'll handle it."
"I watched her today.
She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of it's own.
She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive.
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--ignorance, cruelty,
prejudice--and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life
Because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles.
"A mirror will suffice."
|
The Tone of Voice
(Author Unknown)
It's not so much what you say
As the manner in which you say it;
It's not so much the language you use
As the tone in which you convey it.
A Come here! I sharply said,
And the child cowered and wept.
A Come here, I said softly
He looked and smiled
...and straight to my lap he crept.
Words may be mild and fair
But the tone may pierce like a dart;
Words may be soft as the summer air
But the tone may break my heart;
For words come from the mind
Grow by study and art
But tone leaps from the inner self,
Revealing the state of the heart.
Whether you know it or not,
Whether your mean or care,
Gentleness, kindness love and hate,
Envy, anger, are there.
Then, would you quarrels avoid
And peace and love rejoice?
Keep anger not only out of your words
Keep it out of your voice.
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